10.08.2018

my capsule wardrobe || an earthy fall palette

firstly, i don't know why i feel the need to say all of this, but i do...i don't have this all figured out. i am not a professional at any of this. just a mom of five sharing what's working & not working in my life. and i want you to know clothes aren't everything & having the perfect wardrobe makes zero difference in who you are as a person. BUT. i don't think we can say that clothes don't matter at all.  the millions of dollars spent of clothing & advertising for clothing tells a difference story. we obviously all care very much. by limiting my spending & consciously making each purchase, i hope to tell my own story in a way. that i care about where my clothes come from, who is making them & how they are made. that i care about the people behind the clothes, i care about this earth we've been given charge over & i care about what pockets my money is filling.

secondly, i am not perfect. i am constantly doing a heart check & often find myself lacking. i don't want my wandering heart to always be left lusting for the next great thing. i ultimately want to live a life of purpose, intention & contentment. i don't want to put my closet on a pedestal. shopping cannot become my idol. while i know putting on my favorite outfit can often lift a sour mood, i have to know that my identity & true happiness will never be found in a pair of great jeans or the trendiest new top. my identity, peace, purpose & unwavering joy is found in jesus & him alone. 

thirdly, like i said, my identity is not found in my clothes. and yours isn't either. yes, i hope somewhat of who i am is represented through the slow fashion items i choose to purchase, but i hope it's only a reflection of my heart & not a definition. fashion for me is a creative outlet. it always has been for me. i like playing with silhouettes & shapes, colors & layers. there's an art to it. it feeds a creative corner of my mind. even the psychology behind why we buy the things we buy, captivates me. what i especially love is after i finish watching a film or a new netflix series, and i find myself wanting to connect with a character on a more tangible level. that sudden urge to cut my hair arises. or i want to start carrying that vintage purse again. that feeling of inspiration when i throw on my trench with boots & suddenly feel invincible. it's all fleeting but entirely fun. which is how i hope you see all this...for fun. 



it's only been, what, a month, since i started giving promises of a capsule closet update? that's not that bad, right?? every time i'd sit down & try to write out any thoughts, i seemed to be interrupted by someone needing something. of course, i've also been dealing with the 2018 Pant Crisis. let's talk about that first, shall we...

after having the last couple babes, back to back, i wasn't in the best health. i didn't feel well. i had no energy (a REAL problem as a mom of five). i was uncomfortable in my clothes. my skin was freaking out. i was putting myself last & i knew something had to change. my moods were even off. i was eating terribly & exercising basically never. once those two things changed, so did my waistline. by the end of the summer, i found myself in major need of some pants that actually fit. the problem is, when you live with a capsule wardrobe, you don't have a lot to begin with. i had maybe four pair of pants. after a summer of eating clean & limiting sugar, i knew i felt much better & my skin had even cleared up-BONUS-but i was officially without any bottoms. i slowly started selling them & putting the money towards new, better fitting pants. i waited for coupon codes. i saved & saved. i planned & planned. after about a month, i was ready to pull the trigger & finish up my new fall bottom capsule wardrobe. if i'm being honest, it may be my favorite TO DATE. when the last two bottoms arrived & fit, i was literally jumping for joy. 



my capsule wardrobe process: 

if you want to know all about what a capsule wardrobe is & how i got started...click HERE. (you can also click on the "what i'm wearing" tab to the right to scroll through any of my past clothing posts.)

as far as choosing what goes into each seasons capsule, for fall & winter, there's usually a few sleeveless pieces i will count as a summer piece & easily pack them away. then there's a few tops that the color or fabric works best for spring or summer so i'll remove them from my closet. then there's the few tops that i have really loved during the warmer months, wore a lot & frankly am ready to give a break. that's the fun part...packing up those few, well-worn items, not wearing them for the cold months, then bringing them back out in the spring...it's like seeing a long-lost friend! and finally, when getting my fall wardrobe ready, i bring back those few long sleeve tops from my cold weather storage basket & move my cardigans back into rotation. sweaters normally have to wait until the winter capsule here in ohio. our window for true fall weather seems shorter & shorter these days. 

part of my decision-making process often involves a heavy use of pinterest. i love searching for outfits that are made up of similar pieces that i own & i get some fresh perspective on how to style those items already in my closet. i collect these inspiration images on my seasonal pinterest boards to refer to later when i find myself wearing the same pieces the same way. 


after getting my final fall choices in the closet together, i like to see if a particular color palette has emerged. this fall it looks like we're having an ochre + indigo party. i typically tend to gravitate towards the "fall colors" & right now, ochre & rust & all things denim are what i'm obsessing over. i like to use the closet palette to create outfits by partnering up coordinating colors. blush against rust. green with ochre. ochre and rust. tonal partnerships. monochrome looks of indigo or black. the colors themselves can be very inspiring.

here's a quick snapshot of what my color palette is looking like for this fall & my current clothing count.

fall 2018 capsule wardrobe count:
32 total pieces =
17 tops
4 bottoms
8 outerwear
3 shoes






let's get down to the specifics...

i thought for the fall 18 capsule reveal, i'd talk more about the "why." the why behind how each of these pieces make the final closet cut. to talk a little more in depth about the thought process behind each choice. it's a lot of information so feel free to skim or read later, but i know when i started out with this capsule wardrobe life, it helped me to hear how others were making their decisions so i could learn how to think through the process.

tops


when i first saw this tee online at madewell, i fell for it. the colors. the abstract goodness. the cropped length. the heavier cotton material. it checked all the boxes for me. it works as a nicer alternative to a graphic tee under a cardigan, or it can stand on its own & i really love that.


the white blouse staple. i'm typically not a button up shirt person, because of gapping buttons, so this linen pullover-style tunic has been a mainstay in my capsule wardrobe since the beginning. my favorite thing about this particular white blouse version is the longer tunic length. i've had my eye on an oversized, extra long, more pricey, but better made, white dress shirt for a while, but as of right now, i'm trying to love what i have with this one. i want to wear it till it gives out before purchasing new. 

a steal from old navy years ago!



man, i wish you could feel this one. it's the softest brushed flannel. literally feels like wearing a blanket. funny story about this one. i was pining over a similar style i saw on instagram. ya know, one  that a style influencer had been wearing. at the time, i was on a spending freeze as part of the thankful closet project, so i went to my closet & rediscovered this piece! i realized it can work as a cozy, oversized button up OR unbuttoned as an outer layer & was VERY similar to the style i saw on instagram. funny how quickly/easily we can forget what we have in the name of "new." 

top found at madewell last year.



i wouldn't necessarily think of this tunic as a fall garment, but i wanted to get more wear out of it so i'm pushing myself to find new ways to wear it throughout the year. i see it cozied up to a thick knit cardigan with a pair of skinny jeans or even a pair of wide leg pants & a pair of ankle boots. 

linen tunic by elizabeth suzann.

  

basically the same thing i just said above but this top comes with a giant front pocket that gives me life! this one i'm wavering on. it may end up right back in the summer stuff if i end up going with the above tunic more. we shall see.

tunic by elizabeth suzann.



good, old fashioned graphic tees! i wasn't going to include these at first...maybe because they aren't "fashiony" enough...but the reality is, i LOVE a funky tee tucked into a pair of jeans with a statement earring. i also have a couple of tees i have collected during our travels that i like to wear too. 

super soft tee by kinship goods.



this was sort of a surprise addition. i knew i needed some long sleeve options that weren't sweaters & happened to be at goodwill when i found-not just this one, but another top just like it in MY color green-for $3 each! i decided to hold the green one back for my winter capsule. that green will be perfect for christmastime. but i'm really looking forward to incorporating this neutral for fall. 

this super thin knit is thrifted pendleton.



mmmm. another one i wish you could brush your freakin face against. sooo soft & cozy & cropped & short sleeved & mock necked. it's just perfect okay. (just to throw this out to the universe, if anyone has this but in a size large, hit me up!!!)

cashmere sweater from madewell last year.



originally grabbed this one because of THAT COLOR then got to feel the double gauze material & fell in love. i like that this also filled the "long sleeve" requirement i was wanting while also working as a warmer weather top, too!

top by shop suunday.



THIS COLOR. i loved the whisper cotton tees from madewell but really wanted something thicker & more substantial hoping they would last a little longer. this vintage style tee was the answer. shortly after purchasing this tee, i saw where an ethical shop started offering a very similar tee & wished i had grabbed that one instead, but the purchase was done & it seemed a bit silly to sell this one just to buy the other one. ;)



because of the other linen gauze top from shop suunday, i HAD to have this long sleeve version from them in the best red brown color. it also gave me another long-sleeve/not-a-sweater clothing option so i can hopefully get much more wear out of this.



an all-time favorite thrift store find! i don't always reach for this one because the arms are a bit snug, but i love it waaaay too much to ever not have it as a fall layering option. must wear this beauty more.

goodwill thrift find!



this one almost didn't make the cut. i wasn't grabbing it much over the summer & was worried i wasn't loving it anymore...UNTIL...i added in a pair of wide leg rusty orange pants to my fall closet then suddenly it was the shirt i was missing. a bunch of 70's goodness happening right here.

tee from madewell.



basically i'm obsessed with this textile & MUST find a way to keep wearing it. under a jacket or layered another way, but it's staying.

top by mira blackman.



i've been eyeing a vest/layering option for a while now, hoping to bring around some new outfit combinations. when i came across the deconstructed, repurposed smock by state the label, i instantly fell in love with what they were doing. i also knew i wanted one of their smocks in denim. it took a lot of patience & "window" watching, but it paid off & i was able to add the exact dream layering piece i needed. i love that i can wear this open as a vest or button it up & have it as another solid layer. 



a long sleeve denim shirt was on my fall must list & i found this beauty at a clothing giveaway FOR FREE. i think it was originally from walmart but it fits perfectly & i adore it! Yay for giving old clothes new life!



a black turtleneck. one of my all-time my favorite favorite things to wear. i automatically feel chic & put together when i wear one. i wish i could wear one year round. this beauty was also a thrift store find for $3!

turtleneck is thifted ralph lauren.



if you ever wondered what raw silk feels like, let me tell you...it's a similar weight to flannel; cozy, substantial, with a nubby texture; it flows & billows when you move. raw silk has a VERY different  feel & look than, say, silk crepe. i took a chance & grabbed one of these harper tunics in raw silk before they were discontinued & i'm so glad i did. i sized up & am obsessed with the oversized fit. i like rolling the sleeves & feeling the longer length wrap & move around me.  

tunic by elizabeth suzann.



another awesome graphic tee from a local small business.

screenprint tee by kinship goods.


outer layers


a friend of mine told me this sweater has such personality & now it's all i think about when i see it. i love how fun this knit piece is, especially paired with a simple top underneath. it's also made of wool so it TOTALLY keeps me warm without getting me sweaty hot. i often grab this as i run out of the house on those chilly fall mornings.

cardigan from madewell last year.



how amazing are all the unique hand blocked prints by po-em?! i had been dying for a piece from them & finally decided on this jacket last year. it's the perfect weight for these tricky seasonal days & instantly makes me feel way cooler & artsy than what i really am.



okay, yeah, so i like madewell, A LOT. there i said it. this particular sweater has such an great weight to it that allows for the perfect slouchy affect when layering. another piece that makes me feel cozy & cool. that's the thing about making these capsule choices, for me, it's all about how the clothes make me feel. and i didn't realize how much the feel & fit of fabrics affected my overall confidence & mood.

cardigan from madewell.



i'll admit i feel like i have too many outer pieces. the minimalist inside me wants to have one go-to piece that i ALWAYS throw on when i leave in the morning, but the reality is, i attend such different venues & activities & have so many different weather factors to think about. this jacket is durable & warm, but not in a cozy sense, more of a functional sense. it's more utilitarian. the canvas is heavy & keeps the cold out. the deep pockets are life & i love the dramatic long length...even though i've secretly wondered more than once if i should've bought the shorter version. the color, however, is perfection. so, this one's a keeper & i'm working on my wandering heart. of course, the linen version is also incredibly tempting.

trench by elizabeth suzann.



an oldie but a goodie! a super cozy, slouchy cardigan from a few years ago that currently has one of the pockets being held on by safety pins. reeeeaaaally living by the whole "wear it till it falls apart" mantra with this piece. 

cardigan from target.



i had my eye on, originally, a more expensive denim chore coat. BUT happened across this one at a much cheaper price point. the quality seemed good for denim & i decided this would be a rare fast fashion purchase for me. while i'm not a fan of fast fashion, sometimes it just works out.

chore coat from old navy.


bottoms


to replace my previous relaxed denim. a bit looser on the leg. super high rise. great brass button detail. these are so comfortable on. 

perfect vintage jean from madewell.



LITERALLY jumped for joy when i tried on these babies. a super cool, wide leg denim. perfect cropped length. super high rise. great light vintage wash. precious silver button detail. raw hem goodness. currently my FAVORITE FAVORITE pair of pants. want to wear with all the things.

wide leg crop from madewell.



to replace my dark denim skinny jeans. i noticed a lot of my inspo outfits involved a black skinny jean that was often distressed, so when i went to replace my other pair of skinny jeans, i decided to go with a black pair. these happened to come distressed, as well. perfect length when i select the petite option. the super high rise is life. 

curvy high rise denim from madewell.



my dream color pants. i have eyed the more expensive, look-alike option (that doesn't offer my size) pant on other people & was left pantless & drooling. enters these highwaisted, wide leg, just stretchy enough, substantial canvas pants. so much love for these. dress them up. dress them down. so so versatile & effortlessly blends into my wardrobe palette. 

emmett pants from madewell.


shoes


let's talk shoes. 

i had a second pair of boots on here, originally. tan suede. a bit higher on the ankle. and i also had a pair of black dansko's listed previously, as well. i finally admitted to myself that i'm just not a black-shoe-wearer kind of girl. it's funny sometimes the things you find out about yourself when working with a small capsule wardrobe. i'm also not real sure about the other tan boots right now, soooo i may pass them to my daughter (yay for same shoe size) & see if i miss them or i'll just borrow them on occasion. i'll admit, they were a clearance aisle impulse buy & i should've known better. 

these new brown ankle boots (above) are an absolute fantastic replacement for my black danskos.  these also replaced my other pair of brown ankle boots that i purchased five years ago! i so enjoyed the long life on the other boots but my feet couldn't take wearing them for any length of time anymore. i knew i needed something with more support. enters dansko. these boots are incredibly comfortable. easy to slip on (apparently that is very important in a shoe for me). and i'm obsessed with how they come looking a bit worn in the toe. ugh, so good.



another church giveaway find FOR FREE. i had a similar shoe saved to my wish list for YEARS & could never justify the investment...mostly because i know i need supportive shoes for my feet, but darn it if these aren't the comfiest flats! i plan to wear these through the upcoming transitional months & i personally think they would be darn cute with a jean & cozy knit.

thrifted st. johns bay.



oh clogs. i love ya. are these wooden soled ones great for my feet? no. which means i can only wear them when i know i won't be on my feet for long periods of time. i have found myself mostly using these as gardening shoes. i don't know how much i will be in need of these with the other two solid options right now, but i'm including them anyhow because i can't help but love them. 

clogs by lotta from stockholm.



so there ya have it. my fall 18 capsule wardrobe & a little bit of my heart to begin with. 

none of this is absolute. i have a couple things on my watch list & a little savings put back in case i am able to get ahold of my wish list items. i am also allowing myself some slack right now due to the extreme temperatures we've been experiencing. because it's been so dang hot, i've still been pulling some of my summer linen & keeping my mules & sandals in rotation. hoping it decides to cool down soon. 


what are your thoughts? 
is this something you would like to do? 
what's holding you back from trying?
are there colors you always gravitate towards in your closet?


let me know what you think in the comments section on my instagram post!




xo
amanda

6.30.2018

can you be friends with your teenage kid?

i found myself gifted with the very rare & elusive afternoon alone.


i knew it wouldn't last long but there i was. husband at work. one kid gone. one kid working. one kid sick in bed. two babes sleeping. what was i to do. seriously. i stood in the kitchen for a few minutes. the laundry was already going. do i clean the house in peace? log some much-welcomed mom time on netflix? 

i find when i have even a few minutes of quiet that i can once again hear myself. faint & often frazzled but i'm in there. 

as i stood in the middle of our kitchen floor with no one needing anything & nothing imperative to do, the words came quick & i began journaling through my jumbled thoughts.



our oldest had just left for a babysitting job & as much as i relish hanging out with her in the summertime, she's still an added energy presence to the craziness that is our house in the summer. it's that thought that stopped me. how much i have genuinely loved hanging out with her lately. i thought about how our relationship has evolved as she's gotten older. it's not better or worse than the connection i have with our other kids, just different. maturity has lent us a lot of shared interests & intriguing thoughts. we have inside jokes, similar taste in music & movies, like to talk fashion & even politics. while i don't share everything with her, i am able to share a bit more of life in hopes of instilling important insights into adulthood. as much as my initial instinct is to shield her from every hurtful comment or difficult decision, it's not real. that's not life. 

she needs to hear about some of the bad & know that just because i have a bad day, doesn't mean i have a bad life. that just because something terrible happened, doesn't mean i have to collapse. she needs to be taught forgiveness without expectation, how to set healthy boundaries in relationships, that you must accept grace to give it, that life is about balance, that she doesn't have to be the best, that messing up is human, that giving up should only mean giving it to God. she needs to know that as a child of God, she has eternal hope, unconditional love & a river of forgiveness that stretches on forever.

over the last 15 years of motherhood, i have learned a lot about myself. and honestly, surprisingly so. i feel that at any given time in our life, we feel pretty sure of ourselves. we think we know who we are. we feel that we've arrived. we feel we have things figured out. only to realize over time that finding who we are was never really an end destination but a constant evolution. a constant rediscovering of oneself. of learning & growing. of stretching our bones. 

one thing i have learned & accepted is that i'm not perpetually well-equipped for every stage of life. what i mean is, while i whole-heartedly adore my babies, toddlers are more my forte. while i can engage & direct my middle school babes, high school is where i feel i thrive. and that's okay. and accepting that has been very freeing. and honestly it's been a beautiful process. for the places i feel i fall short, my husband soars. and i can see the grand design for a marriage of two. a compliment. a completion.

but while i stood in our kitchen on a thursday afternoon in june, this one question kept rattling around in my mind, am i allowed to be friends with my teenage daughter?

i've heard the answer my whole life. 

no. 

you can't be her friend. 

you need to be her mother. 

she has enough friends.

she needs boundaries, not a "yes (wo)man".

as if one cannot be both. if you are your child's friend, then you must not be a very good mother. if you're being a good mother, then friendship with your child will be lost on you. it's like i was trained to think this way. or brainwashed. whether i really thought about it-or believed it to be true-or not. and not by my own mother because i always considered my mom my friend-without compromise. maybe some mom started all this after her friend betty was trying to be the "cool mom" & let her kids do whatever they wanted out of her own fear of rejection or isolation. 

i don't know. 

what i do know is if you want to grow a relationship, sharing is important. sharing time. sharing life. sharing the precious pearls each of us carry inside. scars from broken hearts. regret from poor choices. embarrassing moments of growth. if you want to get closer to someone, you do that by giving a piece of yourself to them. forever threading your two hearts with an invisible string of trust. so i share precious memories & my everyday struggles with our teenage daughter. always appropriately for her maturity level.  never compromising my sacred marital covenant. always to the best of my maternal awareness. 

my problem is, i just can't get on board with any of this you-can't-be-her-friend stuff.

i 1,000% consider our teenage daughter my friend. and i cannot wait for future friendships to unfold with each of my children. while the details & definition of our mother/child friendships won't be the same as my husband & i's or the same as my adult female best friends, our friendships will assuredly be there. present & full of boundaries & rules & consequences when necessary. i mean, isn't that how a good friendship works? when one of you falls short, the other is there with outstretched arms. when one of you loses their way, the other texts you the gps location. you share knowing looks. you know each other's drink order. you accept each other for who you are & who you are not. you speak without fear of rejection. an intimate relationship built on tear-stained shoulders & sound embraces.

today i am thankful for that moment of quiet. and yes, it didn't last long before baby by baby they awoke from their naps & little needs needed to be met. and maybe no one but me has ever thought about this or maybe i'm way off base. maybe you think this can't be done or maybe you've just never seen it modeled, but as for me and my house, we will continue being friends with our kids.

my only request is that you please don't call me betty.




xo



6.28.2018

when spring arrived

the first warm day.
a truly spring day.
the sun bright
casting shadows of birds overhead.
i opened the back door
& stood on the stoop.
face up.
eyes closed.
the rays of the sun
charging my internal solar battery immediately.
i feel the warmth in my bones.
i do a quick shake
as if to let winter roll off me,
one last time.

-when spring arrived

the exquisite pain of parenthood

ah the exquisite pain of parenthood.

the heart overflowing.
the heart ever breaking.

a holy assignment.
a holy terror.

it walks both sides of the line.
it doesn't play favorites.

some begging for the chance.
some begging for an option.

your sunshine.
your darkness.

the freaking air you breathe.

ah, the exquisite pain of parenthood.

5.28.2018

welcome to indie's market

what a weekend.

what a week.

what a month.

i don't know if i've ever been so happy to see june in all my life. well, maybe that spring of sixth grade. 

but amidst the craziness that is the end of school/mom of five/wife of a high school principal/sister to a grad, a year had officially past since we welcomed little henry indiana into our family. so, in the same weekend we celebrated my youngest sister completing school, we also celebrated the first year of life with our indie boy. our blue eyed, squinty smile, still redheaded, daddy junior, boy.


my papaw, who we lost a few years ago to dementia, was a farmer & indie's party was a sort of homage to him. his tee having the words, "support your local farmers" printed on it. 
"sweet indie, your great papaw's name was jack. he would have given you rides in his john deere tractor. he would have let you steer his truck down their long gravel drive. he would have let you try on his polka dotted hat. he would have taught you to snort like a pig. and he would have definitely made you laugh. oh how he would have loved you indie boy."


half of the invitations may have gotten lost in the mail, but we partied at our home the sunday of memorial day weekend. it was a million degrees but i didn't even care because it wasn't raining. the babies, however, did care. so shortly after opening presents (quickly) & "smash caking" (barely) we all migrated indoors to the air conditioning where we actually got to enjoy some of the magical cake made by taproot farms. 


welcome, friends, to indie's market...organic & home grown, established may 25, 2017. ;)




oh indie boy
you are so loved.
we didn't know 
how much we needed you
and all your squinty eye smiles.






xoxo mom




my last first birthday party. EMOTIONS.