10 things you don't really need but think you need when you have a baby

baby number 4. she's lucky she has diapers.

so over the last 12 years of having our 4 babies, things have changed a little. or more like a lot. 

"they must sleep on their stomach."

"they have to sleep on their side."

"they always sleep on their back."

"they must be swaddled."

"they must be propped up."

"their bottles need warmed."

"never warm up bottles."

you get the drift.

hubs & i were laughing the other day because we currently have 2 (glass) bottles for little olive. with our first, we had like 8. and they were plastic. and we had 8 more in the next size up. i mean, did we not think about just cleaning them & reusing them. why on earth did we need that many?? which was never any fun come dishwashing time. we'd hold out as long as possible before tackling that chore. cleaning bottles is the worse. maybe not THE worse, but it's up there. that bottle brush that sprays water everywhere as you drag it back out of the bottle. making sure you clean every crevice of the bottle nipple to be sure there's absolutely nowhere for bacteria to possibly be hiding. (i'm kind of obsessive about that & i don't even know if that's possible. i mean, i'm sure it is.) anyway, we got to thinking about all the things over the years we've had & never used or wished he had but never will. and i'm not even talking about all the obscure things listed on pinterest that most of us have never heard of. i'm talking about all those "necessities" that people think they need, but don't. and yeah, i'm sure some of these things have been a god-send for someone else, but i'm sharing our side of the baby registry.

10 things you don't really need but think you need when you have a baby:

1. bottles - okay, i know you need bottles, but not packs & piles of them. maybe 3 max?? we used plastic bottles with our first 3 because i honestly didn't know you could even buy glass ones. now that we've used glass with our last, holy cow, i LOVE them. i can't really explain why. but get some.

2. high chair - this one may surprise you. but our 3rd never had one. once he started sitting up & could eat baby food [that lasted about 2 weeks before he was just eating smooshed ( <--is that a word??) food off our plates], he sat on someone's lap & just ate with us. of course we got one at our 1st baby shower & used it some, but NEED may be too strong of a word. we made do.

3. washcloths - i mean, why? yes, we've had them with each kid, but never have we ever actually used them all. i think there was one mixed in with the laundry regularly, but NEED?? no. what's wrong with our other washcloths? or sponges? i don't scrub her down. i basically use my hand the whole time anyway. 

4. blankets - 52 blankets. muslim, guaze, super fluffy, thin cotton. all shapes, sizes & prints. again, why don't i just wash the few & reuse? why so many? i guess everyone likes to buy a blanket. it's a super fun gift to give. and don't act like we all don't love rubbing those super fluffy cloud-like ones across our faces all the live-long day. i wonder how many people rub on those things in the store. ew. you can thank me for your all new level of germ paranoia. 

5. swings/bouncy seats/rockers/etc - we've had it all. except for one of those bumbo things. people seem to love them. oh & the rock & play. every. single. mother i have spoken to in the last year has raved about it. so my kids are probably lacking in something because we never had one. we did buy a moses basket with our 4th & loved it. but we only used it for the first 3 months. whatever works. i'd like to try one of those bumbos-but like, for free. our second baby had colic when she was little & the swing was necessary for our sanity. she also loved the boppy & occasional slept in it (GUILTY), but we barely even used it with our 4th. we don't have any gadgety things so far this time around so i'll be interested to see if i crack & get something. i'm probably being stubborn here (shocker, bray, i know) but i'd like to see what all we DON'T "need" this time around. sort of a stick-it-to-the-man type of thing. i'm like that sometimes.

6. bottle drying racks - i'm not gonna lie. target has some super cute ones that look like grass. that prob sounds weird. but i almost got one just because they were so cool looking. but again, why? i just sit mine on the counter & they dry. just sayin.

7. socks - hahahaha. okay, but really...i got this similar pack from gap & they actually stay on. but if you have a  summer baby...no shirt, no socks, no problem.

8. shoes - HAHAHAHAHAHA

9. rocking chair - we had a glider rocker with our first & i remember using it when she would get up through the night. that lasted a whole maybe 5 weeks?? investment-worthy? i think not. rocking may be overrated. unless you're a grandma.

10. baby brush - WHY. if you're baby comes out with hair long enough to get tangled up & need brushed out...call the ellen show & get free stuff or at least make a viral video & get yoself famous.

*11. toys - so as i'm typing this, our second-born (aka my editor/boss lady) tells me, "what about all those toys in there for her?" SO TRUE. I mean, one day she may "play" with one of the soft rattles & want to chew on a teether, but a basket full of tag dolls & stuffed animals...we may be overestimating her aspirations at playtime.

a few lingering thoughts. diaper bags. do they come with magic diaper-changing juju if they are called "diaper" bags? no? ok, i'll just continue to use a tote i already have & actually like. wraps, slings, carriers. unless you're an avid hiker & enjoy taking your baby with you, you'll prob make it without one. i do have one that was gifted to us for our 4th & it has been very convenient when i have needed hands, but maybe just borrow one from somebody. play mats. never had one. baby monitor. never used one. of course, our babies always shared our bedroom until they were in a toddler bed. not because we're huge cosleeper proponents but because we have never had enough bedrooms for a "nursery" (until #4).   a lot of these "needs" probably change depending on your working/staying home, big/small house, first/second/third/fourth kid, situations.   pacifier bags/holder/pods. a great thought in theory. play pens. isn't that what a crib is used for? speaking of cribs. we got our last one (you don't actually expect me to still have the same crib over 12 years, do you?) from ikea. for 80 bucks. and i freaking love it. shopping cart covers. probably a great idea if i ever remembered to get it out of the car & actually use it. baby baths.  could they be anymore awkward to store? and can i send you the chiropractor bill after i'm done leaning over the bathtub in the most uncomfortable position ever?? i bathe the babes with me until they can sit up & then it's into the sink until they are big enough to enjoy the tub. 

so after shattering all of your baby registry hopes & dreams, i guess i could tell you about a few things i love & have loved with all 4 of our kids. i feel like i've kind of done things backwards with our babes. we were young & naive with our first kids, so we just got all the necessities that folks said we needed. i didn't know what i actually liked or what was even out there. mind you, this was back in 2003. like pre-facebook. like you still got excited about the penny's catalog. our social/technological scheme is SO DIFFERENT now. which has been fun this 4th time around. lots of cool stuff to try. handmade. mom-made. organic. all-natural. so while most people do top of the line stuff with their first, we're sort of experiencing all that with our last. of course, every mom has their own priorities & opinions. each of our babes are different, so we all react/feel differently with each. and as different as each of us are, we all love the same. fiercely & wholly. flawed & faultless.

so here's a real bare bones list of what we consider our must-haves. 

1. muslim swaddle blankets - i have used them for everything: swaddling as a newborn, a feeding cover, burp cloth, shade from the sun, umbrella from the rain, shield from the wind, car seat cover & of course, as a blanket. they're not too heavy, yet still absorbent. mine love snuggling them up to their faces at nap time, too.

2. burp cloths - milk drips, spit up, it's gonna happen & i particularly love using white cloth diapers as burp cloths. my fav.

3. pacifiers - just buy a few at a time. see if your baby likes them or a particular kind/shape. 2 of our 4 used them until about 3-4 months & then quit. the other 2 used them forever.

4. pacifier clips - if you are using paci's, paci clips are such a huge help. instead of the paci popping out every few minutes & always hitting the floor or before you spend your whole day looking for one...bam, it's still attached to the baby by a paci clip. 

5. stroller/car seat/car seat combo (similar)- needed for obvious transportation reasons. i've never investigated a lot of money in a stroller. our current one was on clearance at walmart for like $30 (and it came with the carseat/carseat base too!) & i love it. to each their own. 

6. glass bottles - i think basically all plastic bottles are bpa-free now, but dang, i love these glass ones.

7. diapers - okay, so obviously you need them & as with most things, it's up to your own convictions whether you use cloth or buy disposable ones. we've always used disposable. (i swear i love you mother earth.) you can buy the cheapest or use the pricier designer ones. i've used them ALL. cheaper ones can leak more often but i've never noticed a difference with any of my babies/babies' skins. bottom line: they get pooped in. peed in. i throw them away.

as much as i hate to end a post talking about ^^ that, i think i have to. 

happy shopping! 

God bless us babes & all our babies.

10 things that make sahms happy

i ate 3 krispy kreme doughnuts for breakfast. 

is that considered a call for help? or is that just expected considering their light & fluffy goodness?? (will you all still love me no matter my size??) the krispy kreme box says to warm them for 8 seconds. i do not advise this. HOW CAN YOU EVER STOP. i don't even like doughnuts really. is that how you spell it? or is it donuts? what's the difference?? anyway, i ran into the store for diapers & came out with a half dozen krispy kremes & a diet coke. because a diet drink will cancel out the  doughnuts/donuts. after eating the 3 doughnuts/donuts, i did what any health conscious person would do, i didn't eat lunch. that way the calories spread out over the day & it's not that bad. i am so good at justification. i should have an honorary degree in it. amanda shamblin, dr. of justification. i mean, it does have a nice ring to it. 

i lost my car keys. yet again. third time this school year. how long have we been in school now? maybe one whole month?? geesh, at the rate, well, idk, it's just ridiculous. but i need to definitely get more spare keys made. but like how many is too many? at what point does it become a safety issue having all these keys floating around?? i guess if someone really wants to steal our little minivan, well, we should probably let them. they are obviously in desperate need. not that i don't love my minivan. shoutout to you, girl!

there's so much i want to do sometimes, but i only have like 3 minute windows of opportunity. whenever i lay miss olive down, i get about 3 minutes to run & do something before she rolls herself over, gets really ticked off & i have to run back to roll her over OR i may have to just pick her up. i guess there's always nap time. that's a little bit more of a window to get something done. so every day it's kind of like a gameshow: 

"it's nap time and you have the next hour free...do you: 

a) start the washer 

b) put away the clothes that have been in a basket in your living room for a week already 

c) work on that blog post you've been wanting to finish for a year now  

d) take a nap too 

uuuuhhhh...do i have any lifelines? i guess i will take this opportunity to choose d. yes, d, final answer." 

ya know, i used to work a full-time job + had 3 kids at that time. I'm not sure how anything got done back then. but there were plenty of things that i looked forward to throughout the day or work week. mostly bedtime. but also coffee. these days, as a stay-at-home mom, the littlest things can just make my day. so here are some thoughts on that:

10 things that make stay-at-home moms happy:

1. when netflix releases a new season of call the midwives (or whatever series you love to binge on)

2. waking up to find your kids have already made themselves breakfast

3. all drive-thrus 

4. when the new & expecting moms parking spot is actually open at walmart

5. seeing that facebook status that makes you realize you're not actually the only mom in the world struggling

6. when your neighbor helps you carry in your groceries (just kidding, that never happens)

7. finally getting to take a bath at midnight after everyone else is bathed & in bed (and then realizing you're too tired to do it)

 

8. dry shampoo (see #7)

9. four words: wipe. their. own. butt.

10. when you hear hubs drive up

well, today, i actually chose to finish this post while sweet stuff slept. but alas, she has awoken & is blowing bubbles which means she's about to blow. i know this because this is exactly how i looked before eating those 3 krispy kremes doughnuts. 

on the farm

it's a friday & the kids have the day off from school. it is forecasted to be an absolutely beautiful day & boy did the weatherman deliver. after cereal & cartoons. dirty diapers & morning bottles. we began our getting-ready routine. 

we got a late start, finally got everything (& everyone) packed up & headed to the country. we are in search of great grandma's farm. we stop at her mailbox as we arrive on country lane (yes, it's really called that) & lincoln jumps out to collect the mail that he is sure she has. like always, he is right. we continue down her gravel drive through the walls of corn almost ready for harvest. spewing clouds of dust in our path. we see her house lit by the morning sun sitting proper on the hill. grandma welcomes us as she stands from the front porch swing. the middles in their boots grab bow & arrows & head for the barn. the oldest & youngest stay with me as we visit on the white posted porch. the ceremonial passing of the baby takes place. let the rocking begin. church hymns & lullabies hummed. we soon head inside because it's grandma's house so we must eat. a pot of chili simmers on the gas stove. fresh ham & sliced cheese from the mormon bakery ready to be laid on bread. peanut butter & crackers for kennedy. a cool breeze comes through the front porch door. a low rumble of rocks as their uncle's truck drives up. there's no tv blaring. instead constant chatter & laughter fill the air. someone passes the tissues either for tears brought from laughs or to combat sneezes from pollen. i venture to the barn that my brother & i once dug up treasures from. giving the middles the grand tour. their eyes light up with wonder of new discoveries & old stories. we walk back to the chicken coup & gather 3 fresh eggs. a fight ensues about who gets the honor of bringing them to grandma. back inside we go for a cold glass of fizzy soda & a chocolate ice cream treat. the littlest gives in to the sway of great grandma's rocker. the tiniest of snores soon fill the room. one can't deny the feeling of deja vu  as the oldest recants stories of school in the same room i did so many years ago. the middles & i walk around the old farmhouse investigating rotary phones & vintage radios. i share of the times when us grandkids slept over when grandpa jack was still with us. the sweet memories of a life well lived. it's late into the afternoon now so we clean up the block toys & books. we put on our boots & pack our bow & arrows. we wave goodbye to grandma. with a honk of the horn we're just a cloud of dust. 

come out to the farm sometime. 

we'll feed you. 

belly, heart & soul.

xo

(forgive my abundance of kennedy pics, but she is the resident model around here. she loves her some camera time. lincoln is constantly running around & emma tells me to go away.)

*not pictured: emma, olive & grandma who were having such a sweet time inside that i didn't want to go full-on paparazzi on them.

my capsule wardrobe || a boho hipster fall

what i learned from my summer capsule: comfort in my wardrobe is very important to me. a few of my summer capsule pieces didn't last the summer with me because every time i put them on all i did was fuss with them. most of the time i'm either handling a baby, chasing a kid or hauling someone's something & i need to be comfortable doing it. sometimes the pieces just didn't fit properly. sometimes it was how they were made. sometimes it was because of the material they were made out of. for future buying...buy comfy. 

so the last week of august, i began the planning for my fall capsule wardrobe. i started pulling out my sweaters, flannels & long-sleeved tees. as i started to bring them into the mix, i realized that i will still need to make a separate selection before i actually go into winter. my attention right now should only be for fall. (however, i like to keep a list of items that i want to add/buy for an upcoming season capsules & think on them throughout the current season to see what it is i REALLY may want to add.) before starting my capsule wardrobe, my closet was basically divided up between "warm clothes" & "cold clothes." i have to say, making it 4 distinct divisions/seasons makes me look forward to wearing items that haven't been in the current season rotation (and i don't get so tired of the same ole thing). so for fall (sept-nov) i picked only the pieces i would wear for fall & kept some of my heavier items for my winter selection--something to look forward to in the doldrums of winter!

okay, back to fall, as far as sweaters, i chose my thinner knits. i also picked, what i call, my pumpkin sweater (even though it's a chunkier knit) & my plaid flannel (NATURALLY). but here's the real-life issue i ran into. i live in ohio. i don't know if you know this or not, but our weather is bipolar. you never know what you're going to get. for instance, this past week has been in the high 90's...and it's SEPTEMBER. someone please let mother nature know that mcdonald's is selling their pumpkin spice lattes already. when it came to my final decisions for fall, i definitely had to take our ohio weather into account. so i also included (and chose carefully) some pieces from my summer capsule that are either short-sleeved & can be worn with a cardigan OR sleeveless & would be great for layering. i needed to still give myself some realistic options.

decision-making time. to be sure i had enough warm days/cool nights options for fall in ohio, i put my top (versatile) picks from my summer capsule on the left side of my closet & put the new fall items on the right. then i could easily tell that the options were pretty even as you can see from the above pic. next i organized all the pieces according to color. this was a trick i read about years ago & still do today. also, investing in good hangers or at least the same hangers help give a cohesive look & makes my ocd happy.

remember, this whole capsule wardrobe thing is really about loving what you have. (i.e. you don't have to go out & buy a whole new wardrobe!) it's about building a closet that you love. a wardrobe that is full of only items that inspire you. it's about channeling your creativity. ultimately it's about a life lived simply, intentionally & authentically.

my fall capsule style: i have been inspired by a more boho look lately. (AND HATS OF COURSE). but i'm also obsessing over clean silhouettes made of natural materials like linen. sometimes i wonder if i even have a "style" because i just like what i like. but then again caroline from un-fancy.com says to mix two different styles with each capsule--so that all works out for me. my fall plans: i will be throwing on every knit in my fall capsule with my vans. i will be wearing socks with my birks because i'm that person. i plan on trying to NOT wear my brown boots every day of my life (even though i totally would). i will be layering because our fall mornings are cool & afternoons can be sweltering.

my fall capsule count: i included tops, bottoms, a casual dress & shoes in my wardrobe count. i have one basic purse that i carry everyday (but really it's more like a wallet in a diaper bag). what i did not include in my count: i have a couple of old, favorite sweatshirts that i will keep around for in-home snuggling/etc, workout clothes, lounge clothes/pjs, special occasion dresses & accessories. for my summer 15 capsule wardrobe, my clothing number was 42. my goal number for fall was to get down to un-fancy's 37 pieces. i am happy to announce that my fall 15 number is 37!

my fall 15 capsule wardrobe (37 items):

top left: lucky brand

top right: free people

bottom left: old navy

bottom right: free people

top left: diy

top right: madewell

bottom left: old navy

bottom right: madewell 

(not pictured: short sleeve striped tee from forever 21)

top left: madewell

top right: free people

bottom left: walmart!

bottom right: forever 21

top left: flax designs

top right: madewell

bottom left: walmart!

bottom right: target

top left: old navy

top right: i don't remember! have had it for years.

bottom left: madewell

bottom right: forever 21

top left: aritzia

top right: madewell

bottom left: madewell

bottom right: target

top left: thrifted vintage

top right: target

bottom left: old navy

top left: forever 21

top right: forever 21

bottom left: old navy

bottom middle: target

bottom right: forever 21

top left: cato

top right: target

bottom left: vans

bottom right: birkenstock

{update: i forgot to include my mocs in my shoe selection for fall! i can't believe i forget them since they are the one pair i was really looking forward to adding into the mix. please forgive me, friends!!} source: minnetonka moccasin co

i'll be glad when this hot weather is gone for good. don't hate me. i just hate sweating. and i hate bugs. i want the crunch of leaves under my feet. a cool breeze through the windows. lit candles & warm soups. halloween costumes & caramel apples (my mom always made them in the fall). the shorter, darker days may seem dreary & ominous to some, but i find them to be full of magic & mystery & the fondest of memories.    

also, i'm still throwing around the idea of doing an outfit-a-day blog post through one month this fall...maybe october? november? idk. i'll think about that. good luck to all of you who are also making these tough decisions! ;)