#shamblinchristmas

i've been putting off writing this. well, writing in general, i suppose. and i'm not sure why. when i started this blog, i told myself i wasn't going to force it. i would let it come naturally. whenever that may be. and there are times when i feel incredibly inspired to write & share & just seem full of words & thoughts...and that is typically when i lay down around 11 to sleep--why is that??!! all of a sudden i have such clarity of thought. i thought twice the other night to get back up & start writing. then i thought, wouldn't it be awesome if i was like neurologically plugged into my mac & it would type what i was thinking. alas, i stayed in bed & sided with sleep (AS ALWAYS).  

alright, so about a week or two before christmas, my mac crashed. and i was in full blown mourning mode. the techs said it could just be a virus they would clean it & everything would be just as it was...OOORRRR it could have already wiped everything out & i would lose everything & then have to pay a couple hundreds dollars to get the hard drive replaced. dljaoidkanaordkdsmabborl!!!!! THANKFULLY, it was the former & it was no big deal! "praise hands"

christmas. it was olive's first time. she was a champ. kennedy did, indeed, get that cd walkman that she wanted & lincoln got his lsu helmet & jersey. olive made the nice list & got her rocking horse. and emma was surprised with a new bed & dresser that she's been begging me for & i kept telling her we weren't going to fool with that right now (OH THE LIES WE TELL FOR CHRISTMAS). i was glad to see christmas come just for the mere fact that i could tell no more lies. hide no more gifts. make up no more stories. IT WAS EXHAUSTING. i needed a flowchart. 

as far as decor went this year, the kids kinda went at it. and i was totally cool with that. so word to yo mommas out there with little ones who make it hard for you to do anything-more less decorate, especially for christmas-one day it will all be worth it! mind you, they took most of the decorations to each of their own rooms to decorate, but considering i was favoring an even more simplistic look this year, it all worked out. and per our agreement last year, the kids got to do the tree. and they put every. last. stinkin. ornament we own on that darn tree. every bead strand. every school-made, laminated cutout. EVERY-THING. i admit i had visions of a sparse tree decorated with found items from nature...but YOU GUYS, when it was all done...L.O.V.E. that tree was the best darn tree this side of the mississippi. and they were so proud of it. 

on christmas eve we spent the late morning hours at my grandmother's house with a billion cousins & their babies. then we travelled to my mother-in-law's where the kids dove into mounds of gifts because she loves to spoil those kids rotten. then we came home & put on our new jam jams that grandma always gets them, lit some candles & hubs read, the night before christmas & tonight you are my baby- a story told by mary of jesus' birth, per our tradition. we discussed with the kids the importance of this holy night......and then lincoln got mad at his sister for something she said & she kicked him & he screamed & accidentally hit me during his fit causing him to get yelled at by hubs leaving almost everyone crying. happy birthday jesus. and off they all scuttled off to bed with visions of angry sugar plums dancing in their heads. 

how about one of my fav things about christmas morn! this year, we hosted my mom, dad, sisters & grandma for christmas lunch. our house may be tiny but i don't care. our hearts & bellies were surely full. i loved every minute of it. even the weird glares from everyone as i walked around turning off lights & lighting candles. was the andy williams christmas record playing in the background too much?? i think not. it felt magical. 

it's not always pretty

OH! my fav gift! hubs & i said we wen't exchanging gifts this year. and honestly, if i didn't know of something that he for sure wanted, i wouldn't have got him anything. there is nothing more annoying to him than buying gifts for the sake of buying. BUT he had mentioned a few times how much he'd like to have a pair of the wicked good house shoes by l.l.bean. so i snuck around to get enough money to secretly order him a pair. i love surprises! in turn, i was also surprised (which is a very rare thing)! he got me the wallet that was on my "one day maybe dream shopping list" made by our local river city leather crew. guys, i didn't know how much i wanted a wallet until now that i have it. how did i live without it???

hoping you & yours had a peaceful holiday season full of love & hot rolls.

xo

@hellolittlenest 

#shamblinchristmas

little nest's nursery: before & after

well, we're in week 36 and the nursery is finally done. we had some strong contractions 3 nights ago that lasted about 30 minutes and then again last night for about 45 minutes. i was fighting some major hot flashes and nasty nausea, too. i just wonder how early this baby girl may come. i'd really like her to hang out in there until at least 37 if not 38 weeks--for her sake--but if she's anything like her brother & sisters, she's stubborn & will want to do things her way. ;) 

but the waiting...it really is no fun at this point. 

is that a contraction? 

am i leaking fluids? 

do i have everything packed that i need?

are we ready for another?

i have to say, having the nursery ready has helped. but now i'm not sure what i should be worrying/obsessing about. i'm sure there's something. oh man, what if i'm forgetting something important. now i'm worried about what i may be forgetting to worry about. i can feel my sanity slipping away.

so this nursery isn't your typical baby girl nursery, i suppose. and when people have asked what we were "doing the nursery in" i really wasn't sure what to say: southwestern modern eclectic? bohemian southwestern with a modern twist?? i don't know-it's just stuff i like. let's start with the room pre-rummage sale...

oh baby. 

how's this for before pics...

yes, that is chairs on top of bunk beds & a log in the middle of the room. funny how quick a room can  get completely out of control. remember, this is the same room that less than a year ago we had ready for foster care. {more on that here.} and well, once we were surprised by baby #4 in october, it become an exceptional storage closet for these past 7-8 months. 

the rummage sale we had last month really helped clear out the room. but then there were still things that needed decided & done. like, for whatever reason, deciding whether to leave the room turquoise or paint it white felt like the biggest decision of my life. i changed my mind so many times that i know i drove hubs crazy. 

final decision: paint the walls white.

so that meant we needed to start patching walls and prepping for paint.

next big question: to keep the twin bed in there or not...

"no, it'll take up too much room."

"yes, it'll be nice to have a spare bed."

well, the whole "why not have an extra bed--for me or anyone else" argument won. we decided to keep it in there...at least for now.

just out of curiosity, is anyone else so ocd about planning/decorating that they make diagrams???

no? okay.

also, that one wasn't even the first one.

ONTO ALL THE AFTER PICS!

little nest's nursery:

baby girl's little mobile i made. i found all of these items in a craft tote i had. i played around with the draping and loved the end result. simple & sweet.

remember the diy yarn hanging i made back in february?? it finally found its' rightful home in the nursery.  

and the black crosses? washi tape. easy to put on. easy to take off. easy to change later. i have so many ideas for the future. also, it gives a cool graphic design to work on developing baby girl's eyes.

this was my great grandma edna's rocking chair. we lived with her when i was first born & her home was my first home. she rocked me in this chair & now i'll rock our baby girl in it. 

see that angel snow globe? big sis kennedy thought baby sister needed it more. i think it was a great addition.

next biggest decision of my life: to keep the current curtains or switch with the white ones in the girls' room. seriously, y'all don't know how often i thought about these things.

remember the yarn-wrapped antlers from grandpa project...also from back in february?? he thought they were fitting considering her name.

oh, did you catch that artwork made by my baby sis? 

i collected all the artwork the kids have done for baby sister & i during the pregnancy & now have it displayed in baby girl's room. i love having that little touch from each of them as part of welcoming her home. 

and yes, i suppose i should share her name now: 

we can't wait to meet baby olive. officially & fully: olive deering. 

we love her so.

a well-worn home

spring has finally arrived in ohio...i think. at least, for now. you just never know here. and one thing i didn't know i missed during that long winter of ours was the birds. the last few mornings i've awoke to their songs. all different kinds. all singing together. and as the snow melted from our last blast of winter, they've been diligently working on building their nests. and i guess most start to feel that kind of pull when the warmer air arrives. the sense to nest. to feather our homes. naturally, i have all my profound revelations around 11 o'clock while lying in the bed trying to sleep. regardless, i finally did a little spring fluffing around the house this week (and thought it'd be fun to share some pics below). also, i did not purchase anything new. i LOVE to shop my own home. go room to room & switch up items. i probably should have been focusing my efforts on that not-even-close-to-being-ready "nursery," alas, i did not. i'm avoiding it-let's be honest. let's all pray that this momma bird gets the very strong urge to nest in THAT room...and quick. our soon-to-be little nest of 6 won't wait.

it's nothing new to know that i've been craving simplicity in our home, wardrobes, accessories-you name it-while also focusing more on filling our home with pieces that have meaning, purpose & life to them. i talked about it more in this post. i've always loved decorating & arranging a room (just ask my mom). i'd OFTEN rearrange my bedroom at home & do it at all hours of the day (or night). whenever the mood would strike. it always left me with such renewed feeling of self. a new lease of life. a new day to conquer. change would breathe new life into me.

in my 29 years i have called 6 places home. and they each hold keen memories of who i was at that point in time. with my first 2 homes i was really too young to remember much from either. the very first home was shared with my great grandmother. it was the house my grandma grew up in. it ended in a tragic house fire. one in which my dad jumped back in to grab diapers & formulas for me. one in which only my redheaded yarn doll was saved. 

but it was my 3rd home that gave me my years of growing up. it was a quaint house that had humble beginnings and lots of yard to roam. my dad's hands are all over that house. his skill. his craftsmanship. he did so much to transform that house into a home for our growing family (my brother soon followed me then 2 more sisters over the years). and it's something i've always held dear about that place. they still live their today...which is something more & more rare. today, we live in a society of perpetual movement. a time & place that we're always looking to better. "what's the next step up?" i don't know if there's anything particularly wrong with it, but we have definitely morphed into a culture of replace instead of repair. we are told we need to constantly refresh & renew versus accepting the lived-in & loved. even homes themselves have become more disposable than ever.

my 4th home was more accurately a basement. we were newlyweds with a new baby (i really need to tell that story one day) and living with the in-laws. my husband loves to tell our oldest (who shares a room with little sis) that she can complain about her sleeping conditions when she has to live in one room with another adult + baby. anyway, those were some rough growing years, but we made it work.

my 5th home was our first "on our own" home--even if it was rented from hubs' grandpa. it counted. it had 2 bedrooms upstairs & a full finished basement (gosh, i miss that basement space). it had a fireplace in the living room & a chandelier in the dining room. it had hardwood floors & a river view you would die for. that view helped me overlook the pink tub & toilet found in the main bathroom. i remember thinking we hit it big in that little place. we brought home 2 more babies there.

my 6th home is where we are currently living & have lived for 5 whole years now (God bless the neighbors still living around us). it's the first home that is all ours. and even though we got away from the pink tub & toilet, this place gave us pink bathroom tile. maybe it's my lot in life to grow to love pink...i did go through a pink phase sophomore year in high school. but this place now...this place is our home. it's loud & alive. and i can tell you without a shadow of doubt that it's exactly the place God planned for us (i should tell that story one day too). that's something to think about: when God was weaving the story of our lives, he prepared THIS place for US.  

it's been 3 years now, since i left my job working in an admissions office at a local university to stay home with our youngest 2 (our oldest was already in school). and i think spending the majority of my time at home has really made me look at our place differently...or at least more closely. it's where i spend the majority of my time. it's my place of work, my place of relaxation & my place of solitude. i want it to welcome me, but i also need it to work for me--not against me.

i know it's hard to really embrace this one...but our homes are meant to be lived in. they aren't museums. i know some desire order, symmetry & cleanliness above all else...and while that's okay, i hope we know it's not everything. with each new little person (and each new pet) we add to our family, we have had to add a new level of acceptance to our living. my husband & i are what i would consider good housekeepers. he often does a lot of the surface work (vacuuming & dusting) & i keep the place organized (drawers, shelves, closets & such).  we try to take care of what we've been given while still realizing some things will come with life. we try to keep a balance.

balance. it's something we have to constantly work at. it doesn't come naturally. and doesn't happen organically. we have to balance what we expect from our kids (as far as taking care of what God has provided for us) with what will inevitably occur through days, months & years of growing in one's home. and it's super hard, i'll admit. especially when i notice the new lengthwise scratch on the record player where a little boy was racing cars or the new stain on the couch where a little girl dropped a freshly-cut strawberry. and while we often react quickly in anger & disappointment, i want to remember that our house is growing up with us. just as our kids learn to ride a bike, fall & maybe bruise their knee, our home reflects its years with us with many of its own bumps & bruises.

i think of my wooden cutting board that has started to warp & wonder if it's time to toss it aside...and then i think of the many meals it's had a hand in preparing. i notice the strings coming loose in the couch & fear it won't last long...and then i think of how comfy it's become over time as hubs & i share it in the evenings--broken in just right. i see the paint chipping...well, from everything...and think of how many times the kids have sat around that scratched up coffee table to watch a movie together, how many times the kids have ran through those paint-chipped hallways playing tag, or how many times we've celebrated birthdays around that marker stained kitchen table. each chip, scratch or stain is a sign that someone lives here. someone finds security here. someone cries here. someone laughs here. someone is loved here.

instead of looking at our homes as places never good enough--never clean enough, never big enough, never new enough--let's embrace the imperfections. instead of discarding pieces that may seem less than perfect, let's appreciate them for the memories they hold. maybe we can actually honor the passing of time rather than always looking at our homes askew.

there is beauty in the well-worn.

hey there green lantern

these ikea containers keep our laundry tidy & organized

note:  if any of this post came across as overly romantic, i can't help it. it's the anne shirley in me.

happy spring!

xo

more on the concept of the well-worn home can be found here.