my wardrobe || this green vest

it's my favorite right now. i seriously think it goes with everything + it pulls every outfit together quite nicely.

once upon a time in marshall's...

while in search of a kitchen rug, i happened to fall into the racks and racks of new adorable spring deals. it's a real love/hate relationship between me & marshall's. i was (in the back of my mind) keeping an eye out for maybe a dress for easter (which i did find & LOVE); but, in the process, stumbled across this green vest. love at first sight. tried it on. price was right. and the rest is history. 

it can be wore zipped & buttoned up then tied at the waist. open with drawstring tied back. with long sleeve shirts while still chilly. with tanks this summer. over springy dresses with maybe my converse. layered with dresses and boots this fall. endless possibilities.

can i please wear it every day...

oh and...

we all lived happily ever after. the end.

hands & feet

be the hands and feet of Jesus. what does that really mean? i know i'm always using #handsandfeet over on ig. but should it mean something more??

here's some thoughts from this morning. 

1. hands and feet - being doers of The Word (1 john 3:17-18). doing what The Bible tells us to do. sharing the gospel (romans 10:14-15 NIV). caring for the widows and orphans (james 1:27). loving one another (john 13:34-35). encouraging one another (1 thess. 5:9-11).

2. hands and feet - living as Jesus' hands and feet. his hands and feet carry the holes of the crucifixion. in luke 24:40 he tells the disciples to see his hands and feet to know it was him. he could have easily healed those wounds. but instead they were left visible. his marks of love. symbols of the passion he has for us. that he was willing to die for you. for me. that he came back and conquered death. for you. for me. in john 20:27 he tells thomas to touch his (crucified) hands so that he would stop doubting it is him and to believe.  

be the hands and feet of Jesus. maybe it means a little more than doing good deeds. although that is an important part of being a follower of Christ. maybe it means dying to ourselves. daily. to seek him and his perfect will & to not be okay with living in his permissive will. ya know, he gives us freedom of choice. he wants us to choose. to choose him. every time. every day. 

be the hands and feet of Jesus. maybe we need live out galatians 2:20. to be crucified with Christ. daily. to lay down our lives for him. daily. for others. daily. in the name of the gospel. daily.

it's in the breathe to breathe that his heart becomes our heart. 

it's in the moment to moment that his words become our words.

it's in the day to day that we choose to live for him and not for ourselves. 

it's in the day to day that we choose to be the hands and feet of Jesus. 

it's not a past we can rely on. it's not a future we can hope for. it's in the now. today.

Galatians 2:20 The Message

19-21 What actually took place is this: I tried keeping rules and working my head off to please God, and it didn’t work. So I quit being a “law man” so that I could be God’s man. Christ’s life showed me how, and enabled me to do it. I identified myself completely with him. Indeed, I have been crucified with Christ. My ego is no longer central. It is no longer important that I appear righteous before you or have your good opinion, and I am no longer driven to impress God. Christ lives in me. The life you see me living is not “mine,” but it is lived by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me. I am not going to go back on that. Is it not clear to you that to go back to that old rule-keeping, peer-pleasing religion would be an abandonment of everything personal and free in my relationship with God? I refuse to do that, to repudiate God’s grace. If a living relationship with God could come by rule-keeping, then Christ died unnecessarily. 

are we crushing our kids?

i am still reading counterfeit gods by timothy keller & wanted to share some seriously difficult self reflection.

we have to be careful what kind of pressure & expectations we are putting on our children.

do they have to be the best in every sport?

do they have to be involved in every extracurricular?

do they have to make all A's?

do they have to be the best in their class?

are we pushing our kids into activities & projects that they don't have an aptitude for or even an interest in?

maybe we should stop punishing them emotionally for bad grades or a poor athletic performance.
maybe we should stop the "try harder" & the "do better" speeches.

maybe we should give them the freedom to fail.

maybe we should allow them to feel & deal with disappointment.

maybe the underlying issue is with us. the parents. 

maybe our desire for completely successful and happy children is selfish. 

maybe it's all about our need to feel worthwhile and valuable.

if we really knew God's love...then we could accept less-than-perfect kids and wouldn't be cursing them with our expectations of perfection. THEN, we could love our children less selfishly and more truly.

as parents, we need to stop defining ourselves by our children. our identity is not in them.

sometimes our over-control of our children is our own unwillingness to let God be God in our lives.

think about it:

does God love us as long as we are trying our hardest?

does God love us as long as we are doing better than someone else?

does God love us more when we get the promotion at work?

does God love us less if we don't go to church or read our bible?

truth is...no. he loves us perfectly. he loves us entirely. no matter what. personally, that's still hard for me to wrap my mind around. and, of course, we want to protect our kids from failures or disappointments. but Hebrews 12:1-8 tell us, anyone God loves experiences hardship. we should expect it when it comes.

the success & love of our children can become more important for our self-image than for the glory & love of God.

remember the account of abraham & isaac? God tells this dad to sacrifice his own son. it still leaves me speechless. the test. his response. geesh. anyone else with me, here??  

the thing is, God knew abraham's heart. God knew isaac had become an idol to abraham. God also knew what was going to happen when abraham was tested. but he needed abraham to know. to know that no matter what, he would always choose God. even at the expense of his own son's life. wow. abraham was truly faith-full. 

we will be tested. we must put God first. we must trust God with our children. even if that means letting them fail. we must find the peace in his love & in his will. 

we need to follow abraham up into the mountains.

addiction || burritos & bowls edition

they say the first step in recovery is admitting you have a problem. well, we have a problem. two words. chipotle crack (there has to be something in that white rice). as i have mentioned before, we live in small town, usa. so it is at least an hour to the nearest chipotle. in any direction. this just fuels the addiction. anyway, today was little man's first burrito. proud mom moment. and yes, i realize how out of control his hair currently is. not so proud mom moment. 

also, i hope you guys know, it's a chipotle rule that you tear the chip bag as seen in above pictures if you intend to properly eat said chips. you're welcome.

oh & just because i like to know this kind of random stuff...here's what i order: 

bowl.

white rice.

no beans.

chicken. 

tomatoes.

sour cream.

cheese.

(sometimes lettuce. sometimes guac.)

chips & tomato salsa.

medium diet coke. 

do you have a go-to order???

daydreams

you know how you sit & daydream about your home? 

you think of the type of kitchen you'd love to have. the bathroom of your dreams. you start researching. you pin. you cut out magazines. you finally convince your husband that it would be possible. and even a smart idea. then you begin the saving process. you buy a little here. buy a little there. until you have all the pieces you need. then it's go time. do or die. well, maybe not die. but, ya know. well, we're at that point. 

i'm excited for sure. but also surprisingly anxious. i consider myself a professional buyer for ikea. my husband would agree. after reading many diy blogs on installing ikea butcher block, i decided we could do it. so we bought the ikea butcher block counters. then i thought we should go ahead and get the sink (of my dreams) while we were at it. so, on the ikea waiting lists we went, then we got the call. the beautiful white farmhouse sink was being held for us. a couple days later it was ours. 

at this point reality sets in. we decide we don't feel quite prepared to tackle this ourselves. i mean, what if we screw it up?? so the estimate game began. 

we have now had a couple of estimates & quotes on our kitchen ideas. one said, it was nearly impossible. the next said, no big deal. you see where the anxiety comes in here, right?? should i be concerned?? 

we have been married 11 years this year. this is the first home we've owned. the first time we've actually been able to do what we want. the first time for all these fears. 

and at this point, i'm just ready for it to all be done. and for it to be beautiful. i'll keep you posted on the progress. fingers crossed, y'all.

no longer

our sin doesn't erase God's grace.

our sin makes grace come alive.

his grace makes us come alive.

his grace call us to live in obedience.

do i praise God for his grace without letting it transform me? 

whoa. stop right there for a hot sec. i love Jesus and am amazed at my God and am so incredibly thankful for his grace. but when i'm worshipping or thanking him in prayer...am i stopping there?? being a christian, a follower of Christ, means we die to ourselves. we become transformed. [Romans 12:2] oh, i pray that i let his grace change me. and i'm not talking a little tune up. i'm talking complete overhaul. every. single. day. because nothing in me is good. and everything from him is.

in the message version it says in Galatians 2:15-16...convinced that no human can please God by self improvement, we believed in Jesus as the Messiah so that we might be set right before God by trusting the Messiah, not by trying to be good.

do i believe that? that i can't please my way through life. that i can't please God enough by my good works. doing good works is a good thing...but it can't be the only thing.

and then it goes on to say...if i was "trying to be good," i would be rebuilding the same old barn that i tore down. there's a visual for ya. how true that is.

great grandmas farm. april 2012

i'm praying the words of verses 19-12...my ego is no longer central. it is no longer important that i appear righteous before you or have your good opinion. and i am no longer driven to impress God. to go back to the rule-keeping, peer pleasing religion would be an abandonment of everything personal & free in my relationship with God.

amen.

i don't want to keep rebuilding the old barn that God wants to tear down. no longer, my friends. no longer.

<YouVersion. She Reads Truth: Galatians>