addiction || burritos & bowls edition

they say the first step in recovery is admitting you have a problem. well, we have a problem. two words. chipotle crack (there has to be something in that white rice). as i have mentioned before, we live in small town, usa. so it is at least an hour to the nearest chipotle. in any direction. this just fuels the addiction. anyway, today was little man's first burrito. proud mom moment. and yes, i realize how out of control his hair currently is. not so proud mom moment. 

also, i hope you guys know, it's a chipotle rule that you tear the chip bag as seen in above pictures if you intend to properly eat said chips. you're welcome.

oh & just because i like to know this kind of random stuff...here's what i order: 

bowl.

white rice.

no beans.

chicken. 

tomatoes.

sour cream.

cheese.

(sometimes lettuce. sometimes guac.)

chips & tomato salsa.

medium diet coke. 

do you have a go-to order???

daydreams

you know how you sit & daydream about your home? 

you think of the type of kitchen you'd love to have. the bathroom of your dreams. you start researching. you pin. you cut out magazines. you finally convince your husband that it would be possible. and even a smart idea. then you begin the saving process. you buy a little here. buy a little there. until you have all the pieces you need. then it's go time. do or die. well, maybe not die. but, ya know. well, we're at that point. 

i'm excited for sure. but also surprisingly anxious. i consider myself a professional buyer for ikea. my husband would agree. after reading many diy blogs on installing ikea butcher block, i decided we could do it. so we bought the ikea butcher block counters. then i thought we should go ahead and get the sink (of my dreams) while we were at it. so, on the ikea waiting lists we went, then we got the call. the beautiful white farmhouse sink was being held for us. a couple days later it was ours. 

at this point reality sets in. we decide we don't feel quite prepared to tackle this ourselves. i mean, what if we screw it up?? so the estimate game began. 

we have now had a couple of estimates & quotes on our kitchen ideas. one said, it was nearly impossible. the next said, no big deal. you see where the anxiety comes in here, right?? should i be concerned?? 

we have been married 11 years this year. this is the first home we've owned. the first time we've actually been able to do what we want. the first time for all these fears. 

and at this point, i'm just ready for it to all be done. and for it to be beautiful. i'll keep you posted on the progress. fingers crossed, y'all.

no longer

our sin doesn't erase God's grace.

our sin makes grace come alive.

his grace makes us come alive.

his grace call us to live in obedience.

do i praise God for his grace without letting it transform me? 

whoa. stop right there for a hot sec. i love Jesus and am amazed at my God and am so incredibly thankful for his grace. but when i'm worshipping or thanking him in prayer...am i stopping there?? being a christian, a follower of Christ, means we die to ourselves. we become transformed. [Romans 12:2] oh, i pray that i let his grace change me. and i'm not talking a little tune up. i'm talking complete overhaul. every. single. day. because nothing in me is good. and everything from him is.

in the message version it says in Galatians 2:15-16...convinced that no human can please God by self improvement, we believed in Jesus as the Messiah so that we might be set right before God by trusting the Messiah, not by trying to be good.

do i believe that? that i can't please my way through life. that i can't please God enough by my good works. doing good works is a good thing...but it can't be the only thing.

and then it goes on to say...if i was "trying to be good," i would be rebuilding the same old barn that i tore down. there's a visual for ya. how true that is.

great grandmas farm. april 2012

i'm praying the words of verses 19-12...my ego is no longer central. it is no longer important that i appear righteous before you or have your good opinion. and i am no longer driven to impress God. to go back to the rule-keeping, peer pleasing religion would be an abandonment of everything personal & free in my relationship with God.

amen.

i don't want to keep rebuilding the old barn that God wants to tear down. no longer, my friends. no longer.

<YouVersion. She Reads Truth: Galatians>