that time i was a model... part 2

the continuing saga!

so we left off with me arriving to my airbnb. what a cliffhanger! jk. well, just as greg, the uber--we all remember greg, right--was letting me out, i got a notification on my phone from Lauren, my airbnb host. the sink wasn't draining. she was still working on it. totally not her fault. our guess? the people who were there the day before probably put their coffee grounds down the drain.

kids, don't put coffee grounds down the drain.

i decided to go ahead in & hang with her while she was finishing up. i mean, what else was i going to do...

you guys, lauren is so super nice! like, we would probably be friends if i lived in nashville. check out their airbnb if you're ever in the area & looking for a chill place to stay. just 75 bucks a night!

the airbnb

let me introduce you to the cutest little airbnb ever. don't know what an airbnb is?? basically, people rent their houses, rooms, apartments, split-levels, campers, airstream, etc. to other people. the pull of an airbnb is that you get to book interesting & different homes from local hosts (in 191+ countries) & you get to experience a place like you live there. the hosts put together guidebooks for you of their favorite local places to eat & hang. is this a millennial thing?

this no. 2 zipper pouch by river city leather making my life so much more organized during this trip! also, it's so dang handsome. find them on instagram here or online here. new website coming soon!

trying to decide for sure what to wear for the ES dinner. (and again, check out that river city leather tote! yum.) i'm texting my daughter, emma, at this point & sending pics. i'm also nauseous to the point of stomach pains. NERVES. GAH.

not gonna lie. i miss this bed. this big, lonely, lovely bed. where i laid. and took up all the space i wanted. and no baby woke me up. and that duvet that hugged me to sleep. and those feather pillows that held my head. it was hard to get outta bed that sunday morning before i flew home, but it wasn't hard to leave. every mom deserves a full night's sleep every once in a while. and two nights if they're lucky.

the dinner

another uber over to ES studio. i couldn't wait to see this place in person. i was welcomed by the ES team with literally open arms, "Amanda!" it was like we were old friends. we were offered delicious fruit-infused water & glasses of white wine spritzer upon arrival. the tables were covered in linen with natural wood blocks lined in lit candles. jars full of muted flowers sprinkled the tables. it was perfect.

we introduced ourselves to the other ladies & swap stories of uber drivers & disbelief that we were really there & that this was really happening. (a constant theme throughout this trip.) the hum of good conversation filled the room. the smell of barbecue wafted over our tables. we found seats & began to eat & we continued recanting about our lives, quickly realizing how serendipitously connected we all seemed to be.  the beauty of meeting new people. our worlds simultaneously getting smaller.

can i just move in already???

the photo shoot

i made a friend. actually a made quite a few. but mollie, from atlanta & her mother, offered to pick me up saturday morning for our photo shoot. this was such a big deal to me--not having to deal with finding an uber at 7 a.m. plus just feeling good about riding with a new pal. "southern hospitality" as mollie's mom put it in her adorable southern drawl.

so, we all meet at the studio & load up in one of those 15 passenger vans & liz's (of elizabeth suzann) parents drive us to the photo shoot location. they are DARLING. i love them. we have a yummy breakfast spread waiting on us.

there are 13 ladies participating in the ES diversity campaign. we are assigned 3 to a dressing room & each group is given an ES team member as our "rep" for the day. they are there to make sure everything runs smooth for us, for them, for everyone. i got alfie. what a gem. he could NOT have been more attentive & supportive throughout the whole day. i was fighting a headache all day (he got me ibuprofen & diet coke). my pants were too long (he hand-sewed them up on the spot). i could go on. any nerves i had were gone. alfie, you're the bees knees.

i have so much i want to say about that whole day! such positive energy! the photographers making us feel like pros. the makeup artists that talked us through everything they were doing/thinking. the hair stylists jumping in before a shot was taken to brush our bangs, just right. the support staff singing, dancing & whistling for us while we posed like the title of america's next top model was on the line. and all the other ladies! i don't think we ever stopped smiling at each other! i couldn't help but feel a bit of divine intervention as the day fell into place so perfectly.

i look so happy! ha! this was taken at the end of the day. adrenaline may have been wearing off. diet coke! stat!

LIZ. such vision. what i love most about her (& her team/family) is her desire to go against traditional fashion rules/barriers & do what she feels needs to be done for ALL women out there. ALL. WOMEN. by creating pieces that are just across-the-board great garments means walking away from the distinction of demography. what's her niche? uh, women. i like to call her designs the magical clothes because they miraculously work for everyone. which is what this diversity campaign is all about. (new website & campaign reveal coming super soon!!! follow her on instagram for updates!) and i'm with her 110% when it comes to consciously producing & buying clothing. to say no to the constant nag of the industry to buy the new thing just because the season changed. saying no to a disposable view of clothing. saying yes to pieces that transition through the seasons easily through an intentional mix of layers, textures & fabrics. saying yes to pieces that stand the test of time & live on as they are passed along.

also, all of their garments are cut, sewn & packaged under one roof in tennessee, USA. god bless america & god bless liz.

the sightseeing

so my new friend mollie & her mom let me tag along with them as we (and turns out, a few other girls from the diversity campaign) checked out Two Son. pretty sick shop they have there. i grabbed a couple tees from them-one sporting "nashville, tn" as my sort of momento of visiting this inspiring city. but mostly i just tried stuff on & enjoyed their air conditioning.

after stopping here, mollie & her momma dropped me off at mas tacos. after the photo shoot, all i could think about was tacos. 

i am so hot.

tacos.

my feet hurt.

tacos.

i wish this headache would go away.

tacos. 

i was told by my airbnb host that this was the place to go for tacos.  after the full day i had surrounded by people, i was totally okay to eat alone & recoup some energy. i'm not real sure what i was expecting when i got to mas tacos, but i was totally into this hole-in-the-wall vibe (even if the bathroom door knob fell off in my hand). i had their fried avocado taco with shaved cabbage, onion & spicy dill yogurt sauce & the cast-iron chicken taco with skillet chicken, salsa verde & sour cream, as well as an order of fried plantains with sweet cream & pineapple cilantro agua fresca to drink. oh. my. heavens. i haven't stopped dreaming about this food since then. i didn't know tacos could taste that good. and who would have thought of the pineapple cilantro combo?! guys, please do me a favor & go there if you're in nashville. 

on a completely unrelated note: is it completely ridiculous to fly somewhere just for tacos? i'm asking for a friend.

this is my last uber, terry, who drove me to the airport. he was nice, but i gave him a bad review. he had a tip bag displayed & that's a no-no with uber. i am now publicly uber-shaming him here. bad mr. uber.

the aftermath

other than getting this crazy opportunity to go to nashville & work with ES, we also got these amazing gift bags with goodies from other nashville small business makers (#shopsmall), a $500 gift card to ES, all of our flying & airbnb costs taken care of, a georgia tee in flax (which was currently in my shopping cart) & of course the dinner, tour & photo shoot fun. not to mention meeting these 12 other amazing women. we all agree. it's still surreal.

now for the nitty gritty. 

please enjoy the ramblings of a 31 year old, curvy mom of 4:

this was all a bit overwhelming. 

my anxiety was through the roof preparing for this trip. 

things went better than expected. 

i didn't get lost. 

i didn't die. 

i didn't lose my phone. 

i feel like the world has been opened up to me since doing this. 

i could do anything.

wait.

who do you think YOU are?

i shouldn't have done this.

i'm not good enough.

i'm not fit enough.

why didn't i lose more of that baby weight?

why didn't i go to the gym more?

i shouldn't have told anyone about this.

i promised myself i wouldn't get this big.

i hope i didn't disappoint ES.

is there something wrong with how i look?

stop.

i should be more gentle with myself.

but...

i wonder what people are thinking of me?

why do i care??

i hope i don't look too big in these pictures.

i hope no one ever sees these pictures.

i wonder if the other ladies feel this way?

will i ever see them again?

what does my husband really think about all this.

my kids think this is amazing.

my teen daughter is proud of me. 

that's kind of amazing.

i can't believe how good God has been to me. 

not just for this specifically.

i don't feel worthy. 

the reality is, i've been all over the board with this. insecurities have set in & i'm my own worst critic. 

i've come to the realization that this is just where i'm at right now. i'm not at my ideal body weight. although, i don't know many women who feel that they are. maybe some do. but i refuse to stay in that toxic bubble inside my own head. the thing is...bodies change. they grow. they stretch. they shrink. they change. and my size now is not a reflection on who i am at my core. 

so truly, i'm proud that i was able to go to nashville & work with such an amazing company as elizabeth suzann. i'm proud that i had the honor of representing the curvy ladies who got some junk in their trunk who still want to LOOK GOOD & FEEL GOOD about their clothing. i'm proud to represent the ladies out there whose pant legs always drag the ground because of their height. i'm proud to show that veteran moms & moms still dealing with postpartum bodies can be beautiful & wear beautiful clothing. and while i'm at it, shout out to all my other redheads out there!

LADIES, WE ARE IN THIS TOGETHER. 

i finally feel like someone is looking out for ladies like me & i'm honored to call her liz.  

xoxo

#esdiversitycampaign #elizabethsuzann